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Thursday, December 24th, 2009
10:06 pm - hallways.
Can I get a hand count of who still uses lj?

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Thursday, August 2nd, 2007
5:31 pm - dental dammit
I am scrambling to get everything I need while I still have insurance and just got back from the dentist. They did a cleaning which bothered me the most out of any needle I have ever been pricked with so the perscribed some valium which I didn't take but lied and said I did anyways. Then they drilled into a cavity and then declared I needed a root canal which I have lost all faith in. I'd rather have the tooth pulled. yay, as if I weren't crucified enough.

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Wednesday, February 15th, 2006
12:52 pm - What? What?! WHAAAAT?!!
http://www.sikhgenocide.org/

Just make a visa or mastercard donation... This is fucking terrible!

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Saturday, February 4th, 2006
3:48 pm - Sliced Finger
"Did you cut your finger on the slicer?"
"Yes"
"Welcome!"

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Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
3:13 pm
Note to Self: I owe Hope Veccione one kick in her manly cooter.

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Monday, January 16th, 2006
4:36 pm - Oh, My, God.
Are the nature spirits intervening?
“There is this stereotype of Icelanders all believing in spirits, and I've played up to that a bit in interviews too. As a member of Sigurrós said, whenever a foreign record company comes over to sign an Icelandic band, the first thing they do is ask the band members whether they believe in elves, and if the do, they get signed. I hate to sound grumpy, but there are a lot of people out there who believe in a 2000 year old fairy tale. Both sides are waiting for their Messiah to arrive. And then people point their fingers at us and say we are superstitious.”
-Björk-

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Saturday, December 31st, 2005
12:35 pm - A Heap Of Bull
I have a break planned from the 11th to the 14th and who other than Imogen Heap decides she wants to rock the Dise here in Boston on the 13th :( :( :( -_- I'm hoping that work refused my request for the break so I can go see her. I'm sorry Matt! :( No one out there is making music as well as she is for the masses. I can't miss this!

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Thursday, December 29th, 2005
12:24 am - "I'm gonna start doing heroine if people don't start throwing their boxes away"
I just saw Brokeback Mountain and here is a brief synopsis! ^^
"mumble mumble mumble work with dem sheep. Mumble mummble.... mumble... it's cold outside, come in the tent Ennis... mumble mumble mumble mumble..... Jack Nasty!!!..... mumble mumble mumble mumble.... I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU! mumble mumble mumble..." THE END!

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Wednesday, December 21st, 2005
7:13 pm - Another Moon
So I just got an offer from a Tibetan Monk today to go live in India and study Buddhism at a monastery. His idea was to get me there to teach english and then I could probably move onto monk-hood?! He also just kept stressing to only get money for a plane ticket and that's it. *scratches head* Well, If dat dar wasn't deh weirdest thang? Something strange happens to me everyday.

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Monday, December 19th, 2005
5:31 pm - Score

Networked Intelligent Device Optimized for Ceaseless Infiltration and Nullification


This was dope.
But what isn't dope? Having the song "Get ready 2 Rock" by freezepop play over and over in your head. This in fact really sucks and my genitals will sustain some sort of damage from this I'm sure.

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2:42 pm - The Shaft
*Edit* so I asked my boss what was going on in my future and he was a total peach about it and is going to make it happen for me soon. And the new hire is not staying in that dept. So, go ahead. Make fun of my unbridled resort to anger. I do it just for laughs anyways....

so I saw what seems to be a new hire in the deli for the 6am to 2pm shift... if they don't plan to give me that position like they said I will fucking walk out of here so fast, cursing and damning all the names of these liars in a hellfury. I can't take much more of this being jerked about. I am sick of the kitchen. I am done with making rack after endless rack of chickens. And I am totally throwing in the shit stained towel I use to wipe up after the infinite droves of idotic slobs. I am so pissed and I don't even have the energy to do anything else in this grocery hell. Wheredoesallthisfuckingfoodcomefromanyways?!

current mood: tired

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Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
9:58 am - Cloyster Man
I went to bed at 2am with an aching cold to be up for 5am for training at the front end of the deli. Surprisingly, I feel really good and totally relaxed at my work finally. Everyone I work with now has to deal with customers and has people skills. Plus they all speak GREAT english so I know what the fuck everyone is talking about. Better yet, I'm on one of my 2 half hour breaks that I get as opposed to the one in the kitchen and the manditory neglect of your two 15 minute breaks in the BOH. I only have 4 hours left here already and the whole day to look forward to! This is what I'm talking about. My german work ethic finally gets humored.
It was so peaceful to be up and out the door during early dawn today. I always had an unknown hatred for being up at that time, but now that I'm a geezer I can appreciate the daylight more. It sucks to leave work and have it be all dark and shit, just kinda depresses me and I get lazy at around 6pm this time of year. Who doesn't?
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my socialite side and have come to the conclusion to just be easy going about the whole thing, but not make socializing a priority like I used to. It used to really balance me out, but all I need is my few good friends about to have a good time. I would get all worked up and overtly anxious when it comes to interacting with people on a casual basis, then I get a job and it all dissapates. blah blah...
I have lost interest in WoW lately because a) I'm confused at where to be for more quests pertainant to my level. b) there are hardly any people that are worth the time to play with, and the ones that are worth it are usually not on often. c) I don't have the drive to grind level. and finally d) no long stretches of time to devote to it. I'll get serious with it when I get home from the bank today and see how I feel then. sooo interesting huh?

current mood: happy

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5:14 am
its 5 am.....kill me now.

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Sunday, December 11th, 2005
5:28 pm
is there anything interesting do fucking do online anymore?!

current mood: desperate

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Saturday, December 3rd, 2005
2:30 pm
i'm sitting here in a break room that has the dimensions of a baby casket and there are (counts)6 of us in here at the moment shoulder to shoulder stuffing down lunch. there is always some dude next to me who can never ever fucking chew with his mouth closed. and it certainly doesn't help that its always slimey looking indian left overs that slurp on his trap. *shudders*
So I feel somewhat distressed because of my anxiety to just get more music done. things are going well, but they're about to get better. then comes the useless feelings of anticipation which carries with it fear, excitement and joy and anger. All the kinda shit that i really don't want to feel while i'm at work edging nearer to the door as each hour passes. i just keep fantasizing about being somewhere else and doing something that i actually care about. lucky for me however, i work with a really funny indian woman who keeps me laughing during the morning, then after 2 claudia, the cold iron wind from el salvador comes in and makes the next 3 and a half hours take forever. nothing will make this woman smile. i've tried everything except for self mutilation. she told me i had a fat belly yesterday and that the only way she was gonna catch up to me is to be pregnant. i should push her down and sit on her for a few hours while I watch the price is right like my brothers used to do to me at 11am everyday of my childhood. yeah, that oughta take her down a peg.

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Saturday, November 12th, 2005
2:36 pm
My mind has always told me the only way I will win is if I fight my battles solely with love. To embrace everyone and give these things willingly in hopes of making a change. I felt like I had a better harmony with this theory when I was 17. Why? I felt I had such a better understanding of myself then and thus leading to a healthier twenty-something, but no. That's not the way it works at all. I want to just rid myself of my hang-ups and reservations I have about my own person and esteem and somehow project the person I know I can be louder than the insecure one, because let's face it, that's there for some reason in all of us. Will it be a quality that can be permanantly eradicated? In doing so, removing remorse or feelings of guilt we'll never know when something in your life was unfavorable so you can springboard from it and be something greater than what you used to be. I have a whole bag of reasonless feeling and shit I need to expel somewhere, but it seems every lot I take it too is at maximun capacity. Something else comes to mind about me being more of a hard ass. I was thinking I should really go back to the no bullshit person I was. In my mind that personality plays out quite beautifully, but being that hard towards everyone means the thicker I'll have to become, but I don't want it to shell around me. I still want to be affected and give positively.

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Friday, November 11th, 2005
7:43 pm - *slaps forehead*
Dear Cosmic Force,
why do people think I'm impressed when they tell me they use MOTU products and then go on to say they record on a PC using Logic Audio Software? Does anyone else see the flaw in this?

Sincerely,
Bumboozle Butt

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Saturday, November 5th, 2005
11:34 pm
I don't know how to dissect the things I'm feeling right now and the past year. I've been out of my own spotlight and became a recluse once again like I did the 2 years I was in Canada. I felt strong coming home March a year and a half ago. I felt good about what was going to happen, and when it didn't I lost many parts of me. My confidence, my outgoingness, my imagination, my reality, and worst of all my support system. I never made room to even think/plan for the disspointment everyone around me embraced so readily. I genuinely feel disapointed for the first time about my life. All the stregnth I was saving was pecked away by the chickens of manchester. And now my new life and the me in it is too disapointed to even leave the house. The new life that was set aside for time to heal, but the shit never stops coming and I try so hard to not complicate it even more by method of not doing anything at all. Loneliness and hopelessness saturate my mind so badly, I forgot a lot about who I am and how I react to life. I can't even talk properly anymore unless I put a lot of thought into communicating effectively. my mom doesn't call me, my brother tries but he's been ignoring me all week, my dad's wife is leaving harassing messages to me on the phone, my friends are all gone somewhere, my music is subsiding, 23 passed and I got little to no respose from my family. I guess when I was 18-22 I just put a lot of the missing parts of my family out of my mind and I didn't count on them for anything, but until things got fucked up I see now how much I had invested into those people. Its so bad that I don't even allow these people into my life or to know me because I don't feel they have any right to any part I love about myself. it has always been me fighting them, them breaking me down, being the focus of 7 other people's attention for 17 years to have it dissapate. Now I feel I have my head about things with my life with Matthew, I feel strong with him and I can let go of these unhealthy attachments to people. I had a lot to give at one point, but it squandered and now I should plan for something that I can really dedicate myself to. Blame won't fix anything for me, nor will grudges. I can slip into those things so easily at this point in my life, and painting is all i want to think about it. Go back to the lonely child i was in complete control of what would happen on these paper worlds. I broke free of that person when I was in music because it has this ability to make me feel like I and all of you are more than what we are. Something bigger connecting to one unique moment happening only for us at whatever time it decides to happen. Time to start planning.

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Sunday, October 30th, 2005
9:48 am - Sad Panda
Protestors in Southern LA, a region of our country that has had at least 800 gun related homicides since 2000, fought to remove 50 cent's billboard to his new movie "Kill People/Get Bling" whatever its called, depicting him with a gun in his hand and the phrase "get rich or die tryin'". Seriously? This makes me so fucking mad that this man has the "artistic license" to get away by passing off living the life of a thug as "art". Haven't the folks of So Cal seen enough of that tired old shit? So far Paramount has removed a few of the billboards, but there are still some out there. Just thinking of the negativity that surrounds this shmuck and the thoughts people must be having when they sing along to his songs makes me worried that people no longer want to confront their own problems and resort to violence as the solution to their own intolerance. Way to set the movement back, fitty. Good job.

current mood: angry

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Friday, October 28th, 2005
10:35 pm - Wiccet Wiccet Wacchh
FU Dead
I think we were supposed to clap our hands or some shit everybody. Look what we did! We turned him into a mop.

current mood: bored

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